Review: Two Worlds (X360)

For: It's another RPG
Against: Pretty much everything...!

The prospect of another Oblivion so soon after the last, and by a little known Polish developer was never going to be a good bet. Two Worlds just has too many serious flaws to recommend it to anyone other than die hard RPG fans who have learnt to overcome major quality issues.

The ambition is worthy, and some of the RPG elements, like cards for spells and power-ups, are neat ideas. The core gameplay of 'wander-quest-level-up' is sound and enjoyable as ever, but that's where it stops.

Two Worlds has a number of very serious flaws, and a whole wagon of minor ones. In order of severity they are:

1. The worst dialog and voice acting in any game, ...ever. Everything is in mock "ye olde English. verily, t'woth gets ye grammer mit nonny verbs and nouns all circum-twisted". That is is delivered with monotone American impressions of British accents with no pronunciation or enunciation is even worse. Playing with the voice track off doesn't help as the text is unreadable gibberish.
2. Terrible frame rate - at most 10fps
3. Terrible one click combat - pull trigger repeatedly until dead; else if you=dead {respawn}; repeat until enemy=dead. Enemy=[wolf, boar(wolf), bear(wolf), bandit(sort of wolf), orc(big wolf) ghost(wolf)].
4. Cheap PC port - complete with tiny icons, map that requires mouse to navigate, tiny text, no autosave, cheap textures.
5. Quests are guess work - there is no logic or reason to quests; and the AI often doesn't take into account what you are/doing/have been. In fact it is so broken it can be unplayable.

So there we have it. It is fun to wander around and laugh at the dialog. The RPG bits are quite nice (level-up, spell collecting), but when everything else is so bad, there is not much enjoyment to be had after the first couple of hours of hilarity.

5/10